She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
