I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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