I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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