Me too!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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