I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Damn victory sex feels great
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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