I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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