Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
