i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
there is glitter all over my balls
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
