Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
