id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
