forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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