so that wasnt chicken after all
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
