What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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