I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
