We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
