just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize