nut hugger
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize