Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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