I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
