it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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