Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
