Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
