some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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