Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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