Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
