in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Randomize
