69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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