he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize