But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
