Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
