thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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