that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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