Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
