I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize