Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
