New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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