hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You have to summon your inner elephant
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Randomize
