Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize