I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
