Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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