She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
