Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
