Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
