Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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