WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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