he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
