I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
