it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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