I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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