Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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