Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
