He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
