He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
