Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
and she was petting her beer can
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
