well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
