I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
