so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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