I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
