Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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