my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
